Into the Mist

“Relax,” the teacher says.

Relaxation, the prerequisite to health, joy, wisdom and so much more.

Relax. It sounds so easy, yet based on how seldom we achieve it, relaxation must be one of the most complicated pursuits that we can undertake. I suspect part of the problem is in the language we use.

“Relax.” The word is a verb. Verbs are action. Used in such a way, the single word is direction–a command to perform the action of no action, of release—of relaxing. Yet, performing/doing is contrary to the intention of relaxation.

Relaxation is a state of being, like peace. What one needs to achieve this relaxation is not another activity or action but the Taoist Wu Wei, “non-doing”… cease to do what you are (or have been) doing … release.

An excellent explanation of Wu wei comes from Alan Watts:

…wu-wei, meaning not to force, refers to what we understand of one’s acting accordingly to the nature, of one’s moving in order to avoid a stroke, of one’s swimming downstream, sailing before the wind, rolling like the waves or one’s bending in order to win. (From Alan Watts - “Tao: the Watercourse Way”).

Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu - chapter 48

In the pursuit of learning, every day something is acquired.

In the pursuit of Tao, every day something is dropped.

Less and less is done.

Until non-action is achieved.

When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.

The world is ruled by letting things take their course.

It cannot be ruled by interfering.

(translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English)

C.G. Walters primarily writes fiction that focuses on the mystical, metaphysical, and mythical insight that we all possess. His current novel, Sacred Vow is first and foremost a metaphysical love story, a tale of soul mates—twin flames—a journey toward our one true love…in its infinite expressions…bringing together two individuals from disparate realities—but one spirit—to heal the rift in the Collective Consciousness.

Receive new editions of Into the Mist through a reader http://feeds.feedburner.com/IntoTheMist

Purchase a signed paperback copy from http://sacredvow.dragonsbeard.com/ – or buy from your favorite brick and mortar, or online store (Amazon.com ). Purchase Sacred Vow as ebook http://www.mobipocket.com/en/eBooks/eBookDetails.asp?BookID=79405&Origine=3971 or the Amazon Kindle version

I am almost ashamed to say that I am a latecomer in openly acknowledging the importance of expressing gratitude as spiritual ritual—Yes, I realized I’ve missed the mark for Thanksgiving.
 
You see, I got hung up along the way on what I suspect was personal semantics. But I also had some intuitive guidance that there was more to it than that—something I had to resolve rather than just complying. I always internally recognized my joy and pleasure for my good fortunes, and felt that this state of mind radiated outward as a complementary blessing to the entire universe around me. I did not, however, manifest my experience in any sort of focus on gratitude.
           
One part of the initial roadblock seemed to be the idea of just who was I offering thanks to? Yes, I believe in a higher consciousness, an initiator of all that is, a source energy or intelligence. My concept of an intelligence so expansive would not allow me to ascribe it with a personality trait that would require or desire tribute for boons.  Personality is ego, and ego is not the Absolute.
 
Tao Te Ching, Verse 34
To its accomplishment it lays no credit. It loves and nourishes all things, but does not lord it over them.
 
If I offer a gift (gratitude) that is neither desired nor useable by the professed recipient, who is the gift (and the giving) actually for?
 
This brings me to the other part of my conflict. I often get my guidance by a process similar to feeling around in the dark (or with a more dignified simile, like dowsing). In a meditative state, I psychically ‘reach’ about (sorry, but it is very much like feeling for something in the dark for me) until I connect with an idea or an experience that resonates with my 3rd and 4th chakras (my “gut” and my heart)—truly finding a matching resonance that makes me certain that I have located what I am scanning for. In cases where I cannot find “an answer”, I have come to realize that this most often tells me that I am either asking the wrong question or proceeding into the process with preconceived ideas that are causing a conflict.
 
Whenever I have felt my gratitude, and scanned to know who I was connecting with in this process, I could never get outside of my own presence. Initially, I took that to mean that I was inappropriately focusing too much on myself. Yet, I eventually realized that for me the proper exercise of gratitude was being fulfilled, and in doing so I did not need to shift my awareness outside myself.
 
Next I looked into the definition of gratitude, thinking that this search might serve a function similar to a koan, some indirect inspiration. What I found was:
 
Gratitude: warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful.
 
So I looked up Appreciation: clear perception or recognition.
 
This led me to accept that the core essence of gratitude required no more than mindful recognition of what I possessed or what I received. With this, I noticed that gratitude for me is an act of personal significance, primarily. Now I am not speaking of or disregarding the individuals—physical or non-physical—that may have had a hand in bringing any blessing into my life. I am just speaking of the spiritual ritual or acknowledgement that was not being completed in my own experience.
 
I realized that I carry out gratitude as an act of internal focus, not external. In order to complete the spiritual process of a blessing experienced, it is not someone outside of myself that I need to offer acknowledgement to, but to my own spirit. In the offering of thanks, I realized I was validating my need or desire that had been fulfilled—my right to have that need, and to accept its fulfillment. In the expression of gratitude, I was accepting myself, in both states of need and fulfillment. In doing so, I am allowing the energy of my own spirit, manifest in this life, to complete its flow in this blessed act…the divine flow.
 
What could possibly have been wrong with expressing gratitude without first coming to terms with so subtle a distinction? Nothing at all. There are many paths of great value that I cannot follow, not because there is anything wrong with them, but simply because they are not the food that nourishes my spirit. My intuition would simply not allow me to be comfortable with sitting down to gratitude without first coming to learn the personal lesson that it had prepared.
 
“Anyone who imagines that their good fortune is achieved simply by their own merit or efforts is fooling themselves.”  Jon Pertee (a timber-frame contractor/yoga instructor that provides my day job at present), 2004
 
Copyright 2008 CG Walters 
 

C.G. Walters primarily writes fiction that focuses on the mystical, metaphysical, and mythical insight that we all possess. His current novel, Sacred Vow is first and foremost a metaphysical love story, a tale of soul mates—twin flames—a journey toward our one true love…in its infinite expressions…bringing together two individuals from disparate realities—but one spirit—to heal the rift in the Collective Consciousness.  

Receive new editions of Into the Mist through a reader  http://feeds.feedburner.com/IntoTheMist  

Get the full length FREE PDF of Sacred Vow by going to www.cgwalters.com/spirit_story.htm and clicking on the link in the page to download the eBook. This will allow you to save the book to your disk. Purchase a signed paperback copy from http://sacredvow.dragonsbeard.com/ – or buy from your favorite brick and mortar, or online store (Amazon.com ).  

This copyrighted article may be freely reprinted as long as the entire article and complete by line is included

A common “suggestion/implied obligation” encountered in one’s spiritual study is to “overcome the ego.” The idea seems to be that one should subdue, train, or even eliminate the ego. As a tool to avoid misidentifying myself as only ego, it has often been suggested to me to consider “the watcher” that remains outside the psychodrama of any moment of my mind or life—a marker to bring my awareness to the true, higher self.

I, however, would suggest that as long as there is a “watcher,” there is ego. Coming to awareness of the watcher merely brings my attention from one level of ego to another. Perhaps the nature of this next level of ego is something the (egoic) mind would consider less objectionable, but it is still ego. Does the Tao ‘watch’ the unfolding of its infinite manifestations? Does it care? Caring and watching (more “considering what we see”, in this context) is an anthropomorphic—human-like—characteristic. ‘Human’ is by definition ‘self-aware.’ Self-awareness is interdependent with—the soil of—ego.

I am by no means in disagreement with this long-established practice—focusing on “who is watching”—to pull oneself from the mire of immediate obsession. Nor do I question the benefit of this method. I have already suggested that we might better define where our attention has arrived when considering this watcher, and I would also suggest we reconsider our intention of subduing, training, or (especially) eliminating the ego.

First and foremost, I would disagree with eliminating ego. This is contrary to the entire nature of our experience here…much like coming into a physical reality for the purpose of experiencing that which requires physicality, yet disregarding or pursuing the elimination all things physical and sensual. Even the experience of “disregarding/pursuing the elimination” requires the antecedent physical environment and experience.

Another flaw in the idea of eliminating or confining the ego is that in this dualistic reality, whenever you try to eliminate or restrict something, you make it stronger. In the unmanifest Tao, neither black nor white exist. When you extract white—bring it into existence—you create black. The more you try—the more energy you apply—not only do you create your intention, but you also create what may seem to be the opposite of your intention.

I agree that our identity is not limited to the any level of the conscious definition of self, though the experience of that ultimate identity sometimes requires we become lost in our very limitation. Our true essence, the state that is without ego and identity, exists eternally—it is the prerequisite canvas for the painting of life and ego to exist. We always know that Ultimate Nature intuitively, and become acutely aware of it now and then. Even knowing that Nature requires ego in order to achieve this perspective. One cannot look into our own eyes without a tool or trick. The tool to perceive OurSelf in this space is ego—that thing that segments us (gives us a sense of experience separate) from the Absolute, from All That Is.

So, the ego has long been defined as a liability. Somewhere it was suggested to me that if you have a characteristic that has consistently been pointed out to you as a liability, find a place or a perspective where that ‘liability’ can prove to be an asset. The ego has invariable characteristics.

You can count on a core pattern of behavior from ego. We can trust it to express its ‘flaws’, and therefore we can benefit from its fixedness.

The ego is a master in working toward its own survival. It will morph into infinite expressions—fooling even the most adept onlooker into thinking it no longer exists or is not actively expressing itself—when it has merely changed form. Historically great benefits to humanity and spirit have been achieved under the mask of ego. Yes, quite a bit of damage has also been done in the expression of ego. But would you eliminate horses because they have a predisposition to kick in certain situations? As with the horse, the ego seems to do most harm when feeling threatened.

One does not need to try to master the ego or eliminate it, but rather co-opt the ego into using its tremendous talents of self-preservation and perpetuation to achieve what you (from your current view point) would consider a higher goal. Sell the ego on how it benefits from your humanitarian effort, your monastic seclusion—anything!—and that intention will immediately have access to a vast reservoir of focus and energy. The ego is a powerful vehicle that will be in motion and will always exist for as long one has even the desire of a spiritual path—that desire also springing from ego. Rather than fight something that is our nature as much as is seeking the divine, place the cargo of your “highest” aspirations onboard this natural powerhouse…and may we all benefit from the ego’s next (”higher”) manifestation!

By the way, I am not saying that one can never escape ego….just that one will not be in a position or inclination to contemplate the achievement when it happens…you will have moved outside duality.

Copyright 2008 CG Walters

C.G. Walters primarily writes fiction that focuses on the mystical, metaphysical, and mythical insight that we all possess. His current novel, Sacred Vow is first and foremost a metaphysical love story, a tale of soul mates—twin flames—a journey toward our one true love…in its infinite expressions…bringing together two individuals from disparate realities—but one spirit—to heal the rift in the Collective Consciousness.

Receive new editions of Into the Mist through a reader http://feeds.feedburner.com/IntoTheMist

Get the full length FREE PDF of Sacred Vow by going to www.cgwalters.com/spirit_story.htm and clicking on the link in the page to download the eBook. This will allow you to save the book to your disk.
Purchase a signed paperback copy from http://sacredvow.dragonsbeard.com/ – or buy from your favorite brick and mortar, or online store (Amazon.com ).

This copyrighted article may be freely reprinted as long as the entire article and complete by line is included.

In December 1993, by many standards my life was wonderful. I was in a loving relationship. I had a secure high-tech job of almost limitless advancement potential, with one of the largest international corporations in the world. My wife, of only a few years, and I had just built the house of our dreams, in pricey though desirable countryside surroundings—where we expected to retire in due time, enjoying the fulfillment of our dreams as best we understood them at that time.

Also in December 1993, my life was failing by some standards that I could not escape. All indications of my health were that I could not long survive the ‘costs’ of our achievements. I spent most hours of my day entering into/within/or recovering from a migraine. My blood pressure was sky high (very bad for someone with an aortic valve insufficiency). Virtually every aspect of my health seemed to offer a negative response to my attempts to push myself to achieve more, quicker, or to seek instant comfort from the effects of going ever faster, farther.

To make matters worse, I was in dire confusion about the growing conflict between how I believed I should assess my ‘achievements’ and what I actually felt inside. The more I achieved along that previously defined path of success, the emptier I felt—and the worse my health became. Fortunately, my relationship with my wife was strong. It was, however, being tested by my ravings about pursuing some unorthodox path to shake off the growing sense of meaninglessness. Kathy wanted to help, but had no better tools than I to understand what we would be trying to achieve if we did veer from the only path that we knew.

Soon, I announced to my wife, “I want to move to the mountains!” –a place that I had only visited very few times in my life, and found myself completely incompatible  with due to my severe intolerance of heights (and curvy roads!). Kathy had much more history with the mountains, and loved them dearly, but was most comfortable with them as a cherished vacation destination . . . perhaps even a second-home site.

“How do you know you can live there?” she demanded, truly concerned about my reasoning and logic.

“Some things you just know,” was my spontaneous response—surprising Kathy as well as myself. I did not have any real understanding of the need to move to the mountains, but I did know.

I abruptly quit my job—certain that I could not muster the energy to survive if I went back into the office even one more time. I returned to my writing, long neglected, as an avenue to realize what it was that my spirit could not otherwise convey to my consciousness. I picked up a translation of the Tao Te Ching.

Though it had become lost in the background of my everyday ‘achievements,’ I always had the good fortune of a strong connection to the spirit self. Writing, countryside and nature were forever the best gateway for me to come to my center. The Taoist philosophy of the Tao Te Ching was a perfect reminder. The land surrounding the dream home that I had come to disdain was now a willing aid in my journey back to myself.

Without my drive for an urgent solution, it took my wife another year to let go of the path that she had been well trained to believe in all her life. It was fortunate that a connection of the spirit—a joint interest in the metaphysical—had been one of the strongest common interests between us in the beginning, even at the subdued state of our spiritual focuses at that time. We followed our intuition, even without understanding it. Releasing that familiar life was a painful time in our relationship, but it proved we had a deeper bond that we had not fully realized.

In order to stay within our budget, we purchased a boarded up place in much need of repair, attic full of snakes, in the country. Writing again took a back seat to such things as patching the roof, chopping wood, getting running water into the house. One of many new blessings provided to us was to walk to the ridge of the mountain range near our home—though it is a hard three hour climb. When we arrived in the area, my knees were so bad that I could barely walk stairs. Before long, the mountain had called me to the top.

Once on the top, I visited the mountain frequently, meditated many hours, listened to nature around me, and tried to attune my hearing to my higher self. Kathy and I redefined our priorities, and developed new circles of friends with focuses more compatible with our new understanding. Employment still got in the way of writing, but work chosen was more likely to tax the body than the mind and spirit.

For many years the writing waited while I came back to my center and my health. I was fortunate that the muses were not offended by my long absence. When I was in a position to understand, they renewed our conversation. One of the first things they graced me with was the knowledge that I had come to just the right place at just the right time.

Whether it is the love of your life, the life changing move to a new career/new location or a major shift in your definition of yourself, the greatest knowledge that you will ever exercise is often unjustified by your cultural experiences, your family heritage, your education or even your own logic.  These are the “things that you just know,” from deep within yourself. It is a part of yourself that may seem mostly unfamiliar, but is always there…waiting until you can listen.

CG Walters has written for over twenty years, primarily as a spiritual journey. His works are primarily mystical novels focusing on the multidimensionality of our relationships or love. The first work he has chosen to publish, Sacred Vow,  is a journey toward our one true love . . . and its infinite expressions . . . bringing together two individuals from disparate realities—but of one spirit—to heal the rift in the Collective Consciousness . . . a breach that threatens us all.

     Request a free PDF of the first three chapters by contacting kathmandau at cgwalters.com or read online at http://sacredvow.dragonsbeard.com

This copyrighted article may be freely reprinted as long as it is reprinted in its entirety, along with the by-line.